But we, as parents, need to be prepared for those conversations too,” says an excited Vignesh.īesides this, they have an active gay parent networking group across Australia through which they interact and share experiences. We’ve also been blessed with strong women around us whom Meenakshi can look up to and ask anything about bodily changes as she grows.
My side of the family will be visiting us soon. For my part, I’ve been treating their taste buds to Indian delicacies. Having seen them on video calls for a long time, Meenakshi is bonding well. But, with the grandparents around, it’s been a breather as they play a crucial role in sharing the workload.
“We may have become resilient by raising Meenakshi without anybody’s help.
Given that the borders have opened, Andrea’s parents made a recent visit to spend some quality time with their grandchild. Parental guilt can take an emotional toll,” he notes.ĪLSO READ | 13-year-old autistic TN girl swims against tide in Palk Strait, sets record Of which, we only follow what we find to be appropriate. We’ve come a long way since then, with occasional suggestions from our parents. Adding to our woes, we were stuck in the US because of the pandemic and even had to travel long hours on flights. We had to feed her and change the diapers often. Our surrogate, a healthcare worker who specialises in newborns, prepared us with prenatal education and that came in handy, to begin with. Her birth kicked off our oxytocin levels and parenthood hit our nurturing instincts differently. We were sleepless and exhausted during the whole process. “Meenakshi was born after two days of labour. While not every day is the same, they manage to work out an effective strategy.
The couple strongly believes in equal parenting and takes turns to run errands, perform household chores, take care of Meenakshi, and occasionally break for self-care if time permits all this while navigating personal relationships and professional responsibilities. Please cut us some slack,” shares Vignesh.īeyond four walls, the page has adorable reels of Meenakshi’s tantrums during weekend picnics, temple visits, festive celebrations, and while playing with all kinds of flowers in their garden. When we vent about not having time to do anything besides parenting, the instant reply would be ‘this is why you need a mom as she takes care of it all.’ About 80 per cent of our followers are heterosexual women who do most of the baby-related chores. “Sometimes we feel that unrealistic and unfair expectations are being placed on us as gay parents.
The 436 posts on their page walk us through the timeline of events in their lives - from opting for surrogacy to daily struggles in striking work-life balance while having their hands full with the baby. We are her dads and much capable of showering her with nourishment, warmth, and care characteristics that are often attached by society to a mother,” asserts a confident Vignesh. We don’t feel the urge to be a mother to our daughter. There’s nothing that you as a dad cannot do that a mom can do except breastfeeding. “Deciding to be a dad was not a small decision for us. On a mundane weekday, while his partner Andrea, a data statistician, and daughter Meenakshi are away at work and daycare, Vignesh, a team coach, spares an hour from his schedule to open up on the intricacies of queer fatherhood and how it has transformed their lives over a video call with The New Indian Express.ĪLSO READ | Kerala snake rescuer brings severely injured python back to life